The world loves to laugh. Especially when the joke is on you.

There is a show on one of the Tamil channels for working folks to showcase their singing talent. Some of them are pretty good at it. And there is plenty of cheering done by the other folks whenever their teammate or officemate(?) does a la la la on the stage. And everytime I see that, my heart goes hmm... No love angles here but just some memories that stay back of a desperate attempt to sing.

It was one of those lag months when work was slow and office conversation became pretty boring. And out of the blue, came this mail from the 'official' band of the company. They were looking out for new talent and auditions were to be held in a week's time. And the best part was that anyone with a tongue, tonsils and a voice in between could audition. No formal training necessary. Skip the sa sa re re and the so fa la ti.

One hop skip and jump and I landed on my colleague's desk. She happened to be reading the mail at the time.

Me: Hey, This is so amazing! Lets go and bunk office...

She: Yeah...

Me: What Yeah?

She: What What Yeah? (We can be pathetic at times.)

Me: Your 'yeah' usually states that the subject is unwilling to perform the task assigned.

She: I don't know. I wouldn't want to make a fool of myself. Besides it's office, not college. We have to work with these people sometime. I don't want people laughing at me when I am troubleshooting websites.

Me: Thanks for the encouragement. But it will be a nice break from work. We can even see how the food is at the other office.

(In most companies, the food is often the deciding factor on its credibility. At least for us, it was.)

She: I think I will pass. Besides I don't think I sing that well.

I swallowed hard. The lady in front of me was the closest anyone can get to Shania or Shakira in my team. The only person who sounds like she is singing an english song when she is singing it. Most of us weren't so lucky. I thought I should also let this pass. But something came over me and soon I shot a reply back stating that they wait for the ultimate singing sensation to join them soon. Of course, I didn't put it that way. I just said I was in. Watching Indian Idol reruns ruins decision making ability.

One of the problems with IT offices is the cubicle system of seating. There is plenty of silence at times that the person in the third cubicle in the fourth row from you can hear you whispering agitatedly on the phone to your mother why you don't want Upma for dinner among other important issues.

Word soon spread like virusfire, no wildfire in IT. I don't know why singing abilities are taken so lightly. Especially mine. My loving team cheered me so much during the run-up to the auditions that I wanted to blow trumpets into their eardrums. Some samples of good cheer are given below.

I was rechristened 'Kuyil' for the week. 'Kuyil' is the Tamil word for Mynah. Whenever I was trying to impress, intimidate or simply act friendly around people outside the team, one of the team members would pop-up out of nowhere and go 'Kuyil' at the top of their voices. I ran to the nearest loo, cubicle or into the elevator.

Any act of intimidation, scaring people or terrorizing innocent subjects was outsourced to me at zero cost.

"Hey, the onsite manager is troubling me again. Can you sing during the next conference call? I want to show him what I can do to him..Gu hahahahaha!"

"The coffee machine is not working? Ask her to sing. It usually scares the machine to working back. Worked on my mouse."

"Lets have Bhoot bangla as the theme for the next get together. We can save money on the BG. Just ask her to sing."

But I wasn't about to be stressed so easily. I finally found one lady who was also willing to participate, forced her to participate and gloated over the fact that there was some company.
Until the last day...

Me: So let's show'em.... What are you singing?

She: I don't think I am singing.. They would want technically perfect modulation, a mersmerising voice and some classical music training atleast..

Me: Don't chicken out now...

She: Sorry. But I really don't think...

Me: It's ok! I will go alone. Besides I want to give it a try.

She: Good for you! So you've sung at competitions before? Have you trained?

(I think it is a good time to showoff whatever little vocal history I have.)

Me: Oh yeah, I went for Hindustani music classes for a week. And I got a participation certificate in kindergarten. I also sing regularly at home.

(Expect her to feel small)

So I guess you haven't had any classical training, huh? That's why you don't want to try?

She: Yeah...something like that. My Guru said it was not the right time for me to sing.

Me: Your Guru? As in Yoga Guru? He he

She: No my Carnatic music teacher. The one who has been teaching me for seventeen years?

I run off to my cubicle at top speed.

I did sing finally at the auditions. And I think I did ok. Because the audience stared at me after the performance for only five minutes before the customary clapping.

When I got back, questions and queries regarding my singing adventure were asked. I said that the panelists were very happy and had asked for an encore. I even tried to say that one of them offered me a song in a movie but I guess that was a bit over the top. I could say anything I wanted because no one had been to the auditions and the results would be mailed only to the participants.

I was blackmailed into singing at one of the official birthday gettogethers. I sang but not before going beet red or any colour my melanin levels would permit. But my team applauded. And very sincerely at that.

I was moved to tears. Such nice fellows!

Later, I heard that they had been very impatient to eat the chocolate truffle cake that beckoned them so invitingly. They would have been ready to cheer Gabbar singh singing 'Pyaar hua. ikraar hua'.

Sigh! So much for some exercise for the vocal chords. And one of the perils of working in a more-than-friendly team.

By the way, I heard auditions are on for the next Indian Idol. Hmm.....